How to Master ADHD Money Management: Tips from an ADHD Financial Therapist

by Christine Hargrove, Ph.D.

There’s a phase we use often in my family: “Sunshine is a great disinfectant.” We started saying this when we were cloth diapering our kids – hanging the diapers to dry in the bright sunshine removed the stains and stink with minimal damage to the fabric.

The truth of this phrase applies to nearly every area of life- including ADHD Money Management. You’d be surprised how much can be resolved – and with less damage -- when you have the courage to bring the crappy parts of your life into the light. There is immense power in facing the dirty details of life, and the more often you do it, the easier it gets.

Understanding ADHD and Money Stress

Money – or more specifically, money stress – is a part of life that tends to fester in the dank, dark corners. The more it festers, the more its telltale stink wafts through our homes, our relationships, our lives. For those living with ADHD, money stress may feel impossible to get rid of. It can feel like our only options are to live with it or burn the house down.

If you’ve ever felt like this, please keep reading – especially if you have tried (and failed) to fix your ADHD money management issues by following conventional advice.

I’ve spent years chasing down why ADHD can make money management so messy, and I have some recommendations on how to make your money management and financial planning efforts more ADHD-friendly.

The 4 Main Impacts of ADHD on Finances

There are 4 main reasons that living with ADHD can make it harder to earn, manage, and save your money. Let’s dig in and see what’s going on here.

ADHD and Income: How ADHD Affects Your Earning Potential

The research is clear: ADHD can affect your income in a big way. Why? ADHD can make it difficult to finish a degree or professional training program, be productive on the job, keep a job, manage entrepreneurship well (if you try it, which many of us do), and earn salaries in line with the general population.

2. ADHD and Budgeting: Struggles with Budgeting and Bill Payments

Next, ADHD makes money management harder. On the organizational side, ADHD makes it harder to maintain a realistic budget, pay bills on time, and maintain a good credit score (which can matter for job applications, rental agreements, and loans). It also makes it harder to sort through your financial conundrums – looking at all aspects of a financial situation, figuring out what the relevant financial details are, and piecing them together in a prioritized action plan of attack.

3. ADHD and Emotions: The Emotional Toll of Financial Stress

ADHD also makes it hard to handle emotional stress, and, lemmetellya, facing your finances is often extremely stressful. More on this later.

4. ADHD and Saving: The Chaotic Temporal Discounting Duo

It’s harder to save your money when you have ADHD. The challenges posed by income and money management troubles certainly contribute to lower savings, but I think there’s another element at play as well: temporal discounting. Temporal discounting means that the farther a reward or consequence is in the future, the less relevant it feels right now. ADHD and temporal discounting are the chaotic power couple you wish had never met each other. ADHD can make it harder to remember important things (like saving for your post-work/retirement era). And, if you do remember important things, temporal discounting assures you that because it’s not happening right now, it’s not really that important. You can save for retirement next month. Next year. Next decade? Sometime soon. Ish.

Now, let’s talk about what to do differently if this is you.

Changing Your Relationship with Money

The emotions around money are a big deal – and a great place to start changing your relationship with money. What emotions come up within you when you think about your money? (This isn’t rhetorical – answer the question.)

Whatever emotions that just came to your mind, they’re valid. They happen. They’re there. But let’s think of them as temporary houseguests. They may have to be tolerated for a while, but they don’t get to redecorate the room.

Techniques to Manage Money-Related Emotions

What do you need to get through your money-related emotions when they visit you? I have a few techniques to suggest:

Name Your Physical Cues

Call out your physiological changes and what emotions they might be connected to. “Phew, I am suddenly feeling so scatterbrained, and my watch just told me my heart rate is too high. I must be feeling some anxiety.”

Tame Your Breathing

Take a slow, deep breath, count to four, and let it out slowly. Repeat. If you can do this for 60 seconds, it’s even better.

Talk to Your Feelings

Personify your emotions, assume positive intention, and talk to them (out loud). “Thanks, Anxiety. I know you’re always trying to look out for me. You don’t want me to feel bad or for anything bad to happen to me. But – I’ve got to do this. You can hang out and wait while I work.”

Make it Small

Set a timer before you engage with your money, then stick to the timer. Start with small increments of time (5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc.) to allow yourself to build up emotional tolerance.

Soothe Your Senses

Engage in something sensory during and/or after engaging with your money. Hot cocoa, a warm blanket, a walk on a sunny day, some great memes – something that feels safe, kind, and positive.

Grab a Partner

Ask a friend to body-double you as you look at your finances. They don’t have to do it with you – just be with you.

Build an ADHD Financial Planning System that Sticks

The actual management of money is also key. Most of us have tried various unsuccessful ways to handle money. Before you spend hours customizing another approach that will be abandoned a few weeks later, I suggest you spend time considering how you think and work. (Measure twice, cut once.)

I like to share with my clients a framework for evaluating whether a money management system will work for them. There are five categories – and each category may be more (or less) important to you personally:

Streamlined – Easy to use and integrate into your life
Accessible – Easy to access your information on the fly
Visual – Uses tools like graphs and pictures
Engaging – Keeps the process interesting, positive, or rewarding
Realistic – Based on your real life, not your aspirational life

Choosing the Right Budgeting Tools

Take a minute to estimate how important each category is to you. Some people use a rating system. For example, “Streamlined” is a 5/5 for me (absolutely essential), while “Engaging” would be 1/5 (mehhhh). Some other people will rank the categories in order of importance to them. Then, bring your list with you as you peruse the current offerings of budgeting systems and apps available. Does it meet your unique needs? Score at least 2 options – but no more than 6 – before choosing one.

Putting it all together: ADHD Money Management Isn’t About Perfection

Managing money with ADHD isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Just as sunlight gently lifts stains without shredding fabric, facing financial stress with honesty and self-compassion can clear the chaos without burning you out.

Start small: Name the emotions, tweak your tools, and lean into strategies that honor your brain’s wiring. Whether it’s a five-minute money check-in or a budgeting app that feels like a game, every step forward is a victory.

Remember, you’re not “broken” for struggling—you’re human, navigating a world not designed for ADHD brains. So let the sunshine in. Air out the stink, celebrate the tiny wins, and trust that even imperfect progress adds up. Your financial peace is worth the light. 🌟

Dr. Christine Hargrove is a couple and family therapist, financial therapist, coach, consultant, and researcher dedicated to promoting emotional, relational, and financial well-being. You can connect with her online at www.drchristinehargrove.com.