How to Stop Rumination with an ADHD brain
Sometimes an ADHD brain can sound like an old stuck record- repeating the same thought over and over but never really getting anywhere.
It can be that thing you wish you said yesterday at brunch, that guy you wish you never let go back in college, the thing you're terrified of happening this Friday, or just what you want to have for lunch. Sometimes it doesn't matter much what it is- but it's stuck, repeating the same thing over and over and over again.
Think you might have ADHD?
Take a free online assessment to find out.
(Takes 3 minutes)
TAKE THE QUIZWhat is rumination?
The term rumination actually comes from cows.
I know- weird, right?
But, when cows eat their food they chew it a bit, swallow, then bring it back up to chew some more. And as gross as that is- it’s what we do when we ruminate on a thought, too- isn't it? We have the thought; we process it a bit, then we move on. Just to bring it back up again and chew on it some more.
Unlike cows, though, our ruminations tend to have 2 different types: Negative rumination and anxious rumination.
Negative Rumination:
Negative ruminations are usually about things that happened in the past that we don't like. They can reach far back into our history, repeating our greatest mistakes, regrets, or pains. Or sometimes they get less specific- sounding more like a general self-recrimination- "I'm such a mess." "I'm so stupid." "No wonder no one likes me."
Anxious Rumination:
Anxious ruminations are usually about the future. Things we are scared of happening, things that we want to somehow keep from happening, or fears that we are working to avoid. Anxious ruminations are usually about control- trying to keep our lives within our control.
What's the difference between Rumination and Overthinking?
There are no strict definitions of either term and people often use them interchangeably.
However, rumination is more often what we call a thought process that people return to repeatedly. Whereas, overthinking can be a single episode of excessive or "stuck" thought on one problem, question, or decision.
Why do ADHD brains have so many ruminating thoughts?
ADHD brains aren't the only ones prone to rumination. All brains ruminate- we are programmed to do it. If you think back to when our primary goal as humans was to survive- run from the lions, tigers, and bears and keep from falling off cliffs. Our brains had to focus on the danger. They had to think through the things that went wrong, so they didn't go wrong again, and they had to plan for the things in the future that might still go wrong.
ADHD brains are no different - they’re programmed to focus on past mistakes and future danger. But ADHD brain EXTRA prone to ruminating because they are constantly fighting a part of our brain that I like to call brain recess (or the Default Mode Network if you want to get technical). It’s that distracting, wandering part, it’s super “shiny” and it’s always ON in an ADHD brain.
How to stop ruminating
To stop your brain from ruminating, you need to call it in from recess and get it focused and engaged on something else. So, how do you do that when the ADHD brain struggles to get engaged?
Avoid Rumination Triggers
It's always easier to avoid temptation than resist it. And this is true of rumination too- if you can stay out of it altogether, it's easier than if you have to turn it off. So take a moment and think through the following questions:
What are the things you tend to ruminate about?
What are the things that trigger you to start ruminating?
Are there certain times or places that cause you to ruminate the most?
Are there ways to occupy your brain during those times?
For example, maybe your mind always wanders back to your painful high school experiences while washing dishes at night. Can you listen to an absorbing and intriguing podcast next time?
Make it active
Sometimes we can't avoid rumination.
But, if you take the rumination out of that “recess brain” by making it active you can move out of the negative thought cycle and into positive learning.
How to make a rumination active:
1. Draw 2 columns on a piece of paper
2. In the first column make a list of everything that's circling your brain- every thought you are stuck on at the moment.
3. In the next column, brainstorm possible actions you can take that would help resolve the problem or fear.
4. Look over the possible actions and circle the ones that you think will work best
5. Take each action and make a plan for doing it
Play it out
For anxious ruminations, what often happens is we travel on the same short mental loop:
"Oh no, what if x happens" --- "That would be bad" --- “Oh no, I hope x doesn't happen" --- "that would be horrible" and on and on.
This little cycle feels horrible, so we try to avoid it, and we certainly never want to go any deeper.
But what if you did the opposite?
When we explore our fears, the opposite of what we think ends up happening- the fear gets smaller, not bigger. So, next time you find yourself on that loop ask yourself the following questions:
What's the worst thing that can happen?
If that worst thing happens, then what? What would you do then?
Could you survive that worst thing? What resources do you have that could help you?
Think it all the way through until you reach what resources you have that would help you get through that big bad horrible thing— and watch your anxiety start disappear.
Medication
One of the ways that medication can help ADHD is that it helps turn off recess brain- so go ahead, take your meds and then work to focus your attention on something else that engages your brain.
Meditation
By focusing on the moment, on your breath, and your surroundings, you’re calling your brain in from recess and giving it a task to do, getting it out of its anxious or negative spiral. And while you do that, you’re also allowing your nervous system to relax, which has the added benefit of starting a cycle in the opposite direction.
Break it down
Sometimes anxious rumination can be about a big or dreadful task looming ahead of you. If that's what's got you stuck, try breaking it down. You don't even have to break the entire thing down, but what are the first 2-3 small (think super-duper tiny) steps of the task? Can you do that first one?
Positive Distraction
When in doubt- try distraction.
It works with kids fighting at recess, and it works with brains, too- what positive thing can you do that will absorb your brain and get it focused on something else? Can you take the dog for a walk? Listen to your favorite podcast? Read a good book? Play a game with your friend? Call your mom? Anything that will take your brain away from where it is and gets it absorbed in something else (healthy and positive) can get you off that rumination loop.
Exercise
Moving our bodies, particularly in more complex activities, takes effort, concentration, and focus- calling our brain in from recess. But if you're like me and your favorite exercise is something that doesn't require a lot of concentration (like running or a cardio machine at the gym), then try watching or listening to something absorbing while you do it.
What does your brain tend to ruminate about? What’s your favorite strategy to shut it off?
Ready to shift from
meltdown to mastery?
This online course has been designed specifically to help teach the strategies ADHD brains need to help them move from overwhelm and meltdowns to confident emotional mastery.
Want to know more about
thriving with ADHD?
Check out these other articles:
Hormones & ADHD: the missing key