Maximize Your Holiday Happiness with These 10 ADHD-Friendly Tips
[2023 edition]
The holidays can be a whirlwind for ADHD brains. The season’s festivities can be a wild mix of sensory overload and social acrobatics with a dash of festive chaos that can make the standard stress of living with an ADHD brain in a neurotypical world feel like a not-so-merry-dance of stress.
The holidays are the ultimate study of contradictions. They are both full of joy, love, laughter, and fun but also full of stress, grief, anxiety, and heartache. For ADHD brains, this is particularly true.
Why?
Well, because ADHD brains are so much more likely and more able to get wrapped up in the joy and equally more likely to feel overwhelmed and stressed by the season’s many demands. In fact, research shows that adults with ADHD are more likely to experience increased stress, anxiety, and difficulty managing expectations during the holidays than during other times of the year (1, 3)
As much as a grinch as that research may be, there’s some jolly news to add to your eggnog this year, too- there are concrete, specific, research-backed strategies that can help us and our ADHD-brains to relish the magic of the season.
What are these joy-inducing tips, you ask? Well, without further ado, here are the top 10 ADHD-friendly strategies for managing the holiday season this year:
2. Keep it manageable
You may have ten people coming over for Christmas dinner, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be a six-course feast, all made from scratch by you.
You may have 42 nieces and nephews, but each one doesn’t need a sweater you knit yourself.
You may even have the most fantastic vision for your holiday lights this year, but it doesn’t mean it ALL has to happen exactly that way this year.
Given all the other demands of this season, we need to keep our demands on ourselves even smaller to avoid holiday burnout. So think about what you’re expecting of yourself this year- what can you scale back? What can you say no to? You can always add on more if you end up with extra time.
4. Get enough sleep
The holidays are exhausting, and they can be an emotional minefield. Allow your brain the benefit of getting enough rest. A good night's sleep gives you the best chance of not just powering through all the activities on your calendar but also not screaming in frustration when your Uncle John tells that story of that one time you peed on Santa’s lap for the 64th time.
6. Keep a gift list
Tired of the desperate search for something- anything- to give Auntie Jane when she shows up with a sleigh-sized bag of goodies for the fam?
This year, try making a list (I know, I know-if, only you had a nickel for every time someone said that- right?). This list is a bit different, though:
Start with every person you would usually give to: your immediate family, best friend, etc.
Now look at that calendar- are there any celebrations you're headed to where there might be people that give you gifts as well? How about parties where you should bring a hostess gift? Write those names as well.
Now you have all the whos- next, you search for the whats. But remember principle 2- keep it manageable. Auntie Jane, your husband’s cousin Bertha, and your sweet Granny Meg can all get the same holiday wreath this year- no one will know or care- I promise.
8. Communicate
You know your limits. You managed your calendar. You have an eye on overstimulation, and you're keeping your expectations in check. Now, you need to get the rest of your crew on board.
Let your friends, partner, kids, and even your parents know what you need this holiday season.
Are you super excited about the Christmas day celebration at your sister’s, but the idea of all the screaming and yelling of Christmas morning makes you want to hide in a dark room? That’s a-ok! Give your sister a call and let her know you can’t wait to see them, and you will be coming over around lunch and will do a small gift exchange with the kids while everyone is prepping dinner.
When we own our limitations and offer solutions to the ones we love, we take the burden off of them and allow everyone to enjoy the moment.
10. Allow yourself to get swept up in the joy.
My absolute favorite thing about the ADHD brain is its ability to go all in. Relish that tendency. Let yourself get swept up in the joy and childlike glee of the season. Not only will you enjoy the feeling, but you’ll lift up everyone around you with your enthusiasm. So go- sing your heart out, rip open your presents like a joyful 4-year-old, and jump up and down with excitement. Give yourself the gift of embracing that energy and celebration— if ever there was a time for it - it’s right now.
Happy Holidays ADDepters! May this season be full of child-like glee and endless love, and may you sail through the bumpy parts a little easier this year.
What tips do you have that get you through the holidays each year?
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Sources:
de Boer, A., de Ruiter, M., & van der Leij, A. (2020). "Christmas blues" in adults with ADHD: An exploration of holiday-related stress and coping mechanisms. Journal of Attention Disorders, 24(8), 886-897.
Sharma, A. K., Parker, J. D., & Schweitzer, J. B. (2017). The impact of holiday stress on adults with ADHD and comorbid depression: A pilot study. Journal of Affective Disorders, 210, 142-148.
de Boer, A., & de Ruiter, M. (2020). Holiday season and ADHD: A review of existing research and recommendations for coping. International Journal of Psychiatry in Clinical Practice, 24(2), 172-178.
Cortese, S. S., James, S. K., Nigg, M. G., Hickie, R. E., Ridgway, J. M., & Millane, T. J. (2019). Brain Activity and Connectivity Differences in Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): A Meta-Analysis of Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) Studies. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 10, 673.
Biederman, M., & Faraone, J. L. (2017). The Overinclusion Hypothesis in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A Review and Future Directions. Psychological Bulletin, 143(3), 344-379. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.23348
Piek, K. A., Smith, J. M., & Ferber, S. E. (2019). Dysfunctional Sensory Processing in Adults with ADHD: A Review. Current Psychiatry Reports, 21(4), 41.
Miller, J. L., Miller, A. M., & Pennington, B. F. (2021). The Neuroscience of Sensory Overwhelm in ADHD. Frontiers in Neuroscience, 15, 694183.
Treadway, M. R., Smith, K. A., Jones, B. C., Brewer, E. A., Williams, K. A., & Paulus, T. L. (2020). Exercise-induced improvement in emotion regulation: A systematic review and meta-analysis of neuroimaging studies. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 118, 1-15.
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