About 6 months ago, I was at a dinner party and somehow won the seating chart lottery and landed beside a fascinating and easy dinner companion. We talked about everything, from politics to parenting, to professional ice skating. Now, I should note, I’m an introvert, and despite talking to people for a living day in and day out, I struggle at the usual small talk. Basically, if you don’t want to tell me about your innermost fears and struggles, it’s hard for me to know what to say. So, this conversation stood out. It was real, it was honest, and it was easy.
As we were wrapping up a particularly delicious appetizer of Thai coconut milk muscles, my vivacious dinner companion asked me a question that made me stop slurping my sauce and really think. He asked: What is the one thing you wish everyone knew about ADHD?
At the time, the pause was not that I didn’t have a response, it was that I had too many responses.
Because you can’t live and work in the world of ADHD without hitting a sea of misinformation, misconception and, let’s face it, ignorance.
So, I didn’t keep it at just one- and I’m not going to keep it at one here either- because ADHD is complex, the people who have it are complex, and the reactions of the world are sometimes even more complex. Here is my list:
11 Truths about ADHD I wish everyone knew
(Number 9 might surprise you)
ADHD is real. Really real.
exist. But they don’t negate the fundamental truth that about 2-5% of adults have this basic neurological difference.
2. No, Not everyone has ADHD
is one of degree and persistence. So, yes, you may lose your keys every so often. But an ADHD brain? It loses them so regularly it’s shocked that one day they are right where they are supposed to be.
3. ADHD is a gift AND a hinderance
weekend, or a vacation or a new job. It is exhausting to spend half of your day’s energy just trying to get out the door in the morning. It is demoralizing to feel no motivation to do the work to accomplish a task that’s important to you until it’s too late to actually do it well. It all sucks. It doesn’t take away from the brilliance, but it can make it a hell of a lot harder to enjoy.
4. Success, happiness, balance, and peace with ADHD are all possible (though they may look a little different).
5. Self-awareness is the most crucial component of thriving with ADHD.
6. Your ADHD brain, energy, and vision are all gifts to those around you.
7. ADHD isn’t laziness.
it’s not a personality flaw. It’s a dopamine deficiency and a motivational difference. Let’s stop blaming moral character for struggles of our prefrontal cortex.
8. ADHD isn’t one size fits all
ADHD is no longer the disorder of yore. The one defined by hyperreactive 7-year old’s bouncing off the walls and causing teachers all over the world to tear their hair out. ADHD is everywhere- in men, women, little boys, and little girls. You see it in courtrooms, boardrooms, ER’s, 5-star restaurants, and factory floors. People with ADHD are of every ethnicity, every race, and every age. But not only does it affect all people across every range of diversity, but it also looks slightly different in each person. Some ADHD brains find it easy to motivate but can’t organize; others find it close to impossible to be on time, but they can plan out a project with ease; still, others are endlessly fascinated with even the most boring-seeming tasks, but they can’t organize all that passion into a format that others can grasp. ADHD is a constellation of difference, and that constellation gets reflected uniquely in each person.
9. ADHD isn’t really about attention (or even hyperactivity)
ADHD isn’t just about attention, focus, or hyperactivity. It is about the regulation of all of our brain’s systems. That means the ADHD brain doesn’t match the requirements of a task with the amount of a process. So it will give too much or too little of any one thing: emotion, attention, effort, excitement, etc. This is the actual distinction in the ADHD brain- difficulty with regulation.
10. It’s really normal for people with ADHD to struggle with roller-coaster emotions.
11. ADHD is a difference, and like all differences, it should be celebrated.
What are the things you wish more people knew about ADHD? What myths did you hold that you had to correct over the years?
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