Developing Game-Changing New Habits: An ADHD Guide
You run back into the house for the 18th time to grab THAT OTHER thing you forgot.
You finally collapse into bed 5 hours after you intended, knowing that tomorrow is going to be terrible…but TikTok wasn’t going to watch itself!You drive past the gym for the 10th time this week with that sinking knowing: yup! It’s been a month, and I’ve shown up once.
This is life with an ADHD brain. It’s an awesome, technicolor brain that does so many cool things. BUT… this world is not well suited to get all of that awesomeness out of it all the time.
Enter habits.
The magical system that, once established (I know- that's the tricky part–- read on!) can get you doing the things you want, intend, and hope to do.
Why Habits Are Key to Easing Your Life with an ADHD Brain
Brain Benefits of ADHD Habit Forming
The cool thing about ADHD habits is what they do FOR your brain.
Saving Precious Resources
When you move around in your day, doing the things that occur to you, the things that spark your brain’s interest at any moment. You’re using a lot of your brain.
For example, the first time you made a cup of coffee- remember how much effort that took? You had to measure and grind the beans just right, line up the filter, fill the water up so it matched how many grinds you put in, and then figure out exactly how to turn it on so it brewed for just the right amount of time. It wasn’t rocket science (unless you have one of those fancy machines, that is!), but it took sustained effort, decision-making, and focus to complete each step.
But after you did all that, you got to hold that warm mug in your hands, breathe in its delicious aroma and feel your body wake up with each new sip. And so you did it again the next morning. and the morning after. And soon, all of those discrete actions became one: make coffee.
Life Benefits of ADHD Habit Forming
Habits do great things for your brain. But this isn’t just about magical neuroscience. Habits do really cool things for your life, too.
Creating Dependability
One of the more frustrating things about living life in this world with an ADHD brain is how it can feel like some magical fairy has to chance across you and rain down its productive fairy dust because it feels so undependable.
There are many reasons for this magical fairy effect. But one of the biggest is that when everything is done in a new way and new order each time, you’re brain has to rely on a series of executive functions to get it all done.
For example. While you’re having your coffee one morning, you think- should today be the day I go to the gym? You go back and forth a bit. Then you decide- yes. I’ll do it. But then- when? Before work? At lunch? Maybe after work… Eventually, you decide. Lunchtime it is. You go to grab your bag for work and remember- Oh! I need my gym stuff! You throw some stuff in a bag and run out the door. Lunchtime rolls around, and you grab a protein bar and hit the gym. Success!
That’s great. But look at all that decision-making. Look at all that planning. There were SO many places where if your brain didn’t have the motivation. If it wasn’t in the mood. If it just plain old forgot, it would have gone another way.
Habits provide consistency and predictability, creating a structure that ensures the important things get done with minimal work. Building new habits helps create positive behaviors that serve as a foundation for greater work, school, and relationship success. As you do those behaviors over and over and over again, they eventually become second nature – giving you more energy to channel into your goals, your passions, and your newest obsessions.
Loop the Habit: The Secret to ADHD Habit Success
Okay, so habits ease our brains and our lives. But how the heck do we set them up and stick to them?
This is where the Habit loop comes in.
The habit loop is what keeps us coming back to action long after the interest and novelty have worn off. Habits loops are made up of four components: a cue, a craving, an action, and a reward.
The Cue
The cue is what triggers the habit– like an alarm clock in the morning propelling you to start your day. It’s a prompt for your brain to move on to the next step- the craving.
The Craving
The craving is that delicious anticipation of the reward. It’s the motivational force behind each habit. We don’t crave the action; we crave the state/ the reward that occurs after the action has been done. You don’t crave clicking on TikTok; you crave the relaxation and entertainment it offers your brain. You don’t crave brushing your teeth, but you do crave the clean feeling it offers your mouth once it’s clean.
The Action
The action is the behavior itself- working out, drinking your coffee, taking a shower, packing your bag- the thing you need to do in order to answer that craving with the final step- the reward.
The Reward
The reward is what doing that action gives you. It’s the thing that satisfies the craving and makes you that much more likely to do it again. , it’s the delicious smell and buttery softness of fresh sheets on your bed, its your favorite podcast that greets you on your long commute home from work.
ADHD Reward Systems (a.k.a. Why ADHD Habits often fail)
The real kicker for ADHD Habits is that our brains have a fundamental difference built into their reward circuitry that makes average rewards not quite rewarding enough. This means the neurotypical reward of “the satisfaction of getting it done” or “knowing that you’ve moved 1 step closer to your goal” is rarely enough to create a craving to get that loop turning.
So we need to put extra thought and extra effort into setting up rewards that actually get us moving.
Sometimes it’s enough to put more effort into “the satisfaction of getting it done”- paying conscious attention to that feeling of completion, calling that up when you need to get in motion. You can add a mantra or talk to your future self after you’ve completed it and tell it how good it feels (I do this every morning after a run- I ask myself- was it worth it? The fact that I have yet to answer no is exactly what I tell myself each morning when all I want to do is roll over and go back to sleep).
Other times, you need to put a little more tantalizing benefit at the end. A delicious smoothie you can only get at the gym, the new caramel mochaccino you’re going to sip while you plan out your day, the page-turning novel you get to read when you get into bed. These are the things that get your brain salivating, pushing it into motion.
How to Build an ADHD Habit
Getting a new behavior going is hard, especially with an ADHD brain.
This is why it’s especially important to consciously build habits; putting some extra thought and effort into determining the cue, craving, action, and reward makes sure that you get you to build your habit loop in a way that is built for success. Asking yourself the following questions can help you do just that:
What is the specific action you want to take?
How naturally rewarding is the task? (i.e., does having the task done feel good enough that you will crave that feeling?)
If not, what reward can you give yourself (that you can only get then) that would get your brain craving it?
Once the reward is set, it’s about creating the cue. The cue is the thing that’s going to trigger your brain to do this new thing. Cues can be location-based, activity-based, or time-based.
Location-Based Cues:
Location-based cues are prompts to start a task in a place. Because they are location-based, they are often a sign or an object. You already probably do this- are your meds out on the counter? That’s a location-based cue. Other location-based cues are:
The key hook by the front door
Your planner on your kitchen counter where you drink your coffee
A sign at the sink reminding you to listen to your training videos while doing dishes
A post-it note on your steering wheel reminds you to listen to that podcast you wanted to hear.
Time-Based Cues:
Time-based cues are cues that prompt your brain to do the thing when you plan to. They are usually in the form of alarms and reminders. And therefore come with all the downsides of alarms for ADHD brains- I’m looking at you, overstimulation and mindless swiping!
But time-based cues also have the benefit of setting and forgetting and always being there.
Activity-Based Cues:
Activity-based cues are my personal favorite because they combine the power of time and location and attach the new habit to something that's already happening. This is also known as habit stacking. Activity-based cues include:
Your planner sitting on the table where you drink your morning coffee each day
A note to listen to a new educational podcast on your steering wheel
A sticky note on your bedside lamp reminding you to do your sleep meditation before bed
Habit Stacking
Habit stacking is a powerful way of building new habits by attaching a new one on top of an old one you already know will happen. This means that the old habit becomes the cue that then triggers the craving and kicks the new action into gear. And because you know that that old habit will happen, you can be sure that the cue will happen too.
Don’t think you have any old habits already? I know. ADHD brains are less likely to do the same thing the same way over and over again. But:
Do you get out of bed each morning?
Do you make coffee?
Do you brush your teeth?
Do you put on shoes?
Do you take a shower?
Do you get into bed?
Do you leave the house?
Do you drive/ take the bus/ ride a train?
Congratulations! You have a habit. And now you can stack!
Habit Stacking Examples
Maintaining Habits with an ADHD Brain
So here’s the rub, right? Maintaining habits and making them stick. That’s the hard part with an ADHD brain!
It’s true. Maintaining anything- Especially habits- is not the natural strength of an ADHD brain. But you brush your teeth every morning- right? So it is possible. Here are some tricks for maintaining your new habits.
Habit Placeholders
Work gets busy. You get a stomach flu. The kids are sick. You have a massive deadline…yesterday! In other words: Life happens. These are the destroyers of our best habit-forming intentions.
Habit Tracking
Using habit trackers and habit chaining is another way to keep a habit going, providing a little extra motivation. When you keep track of how often you do the new habit or try to get a streak of days of doing the habit (unless you are someone that will stop doing the thing altogether once you break it), it can help keep that competitive energy flowing.
You can do this by putting stars on a paper calendar, using a paper habit tracker, or using one of the great habit-tracking apps to keep that habit flowing.
Just like that, you’ve set up a new habit to help ease the burden of living with ADHD. Congratulations! Now, all you need to do is repeat this process until life becomes a series of autopilot behaviors that make your day-to-day existence easier. Soon, you won’t even have to think about these things anymore – they’ll just happen. And isn’t that what we all want? A life where we don’t have to expend so much mental energy on mundane tasks? So get out there and start stacking those habits! What other tricks do you have for developing good habits? Leave us a comment below and let us know.
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